Well, there's been quite a bit going on 'round here....well, actually not 'round here, as my whole fam has been on a mini vacation in Practically-Canada, NY. While we were there, enjoying Chris' family reunion, J developed weird blistery things under his left arm. I noticed one the day after we'd been swimming in the river and of course I was certain that he'd developed some terrible infection from exposure to goose poop or dead fish (both of which we encountered with a frequency higher than you might expect for a place where I did actually allow my children to swim). Since I know better than to voice my worst-case-scenario fears, I showed the entire assembled family and we settled on a diagnosis of "spider bite," which I suppose might also be likely after spending a day on the nature trails, but whatever....
Except that the next day, J had another "spider bite" right next to the first one, a nickel-sized blister that had popped and was now just an open wound ready to trap all sorts of dirty kid germs and shirt fuzz. "OK," I thought, "maybe I just didn't notice that one yesterday. It must have been smaller and just grown in size overnight." But whenever I talk like that, dear reader, you must know it's in a futile attempt to convince myself of something other than "Oh my god, my kid has leprosy."
So now that we're home, and now that he woke up with a third "spider bite," we made an appointment to see the pediatrician. Diagnosis: Impetigo . Lovely. But at least it's not leprosy.
But really, all of this is just context, my friends, for the funniest thing I've heard all day. (But don't get your hopes up, because, really, I did spend most of my day at work.) Apparently, J listened very carefully to every word his doctor said today (which I'm not surprised at since 1. he's a smart kid and 2. much of the conversation centered around where and when he'll be able to go swimming again). While, W and I took a walk after dinner, Chris was getting J ready for a shower. And I'm sorry to say that I missed a naked little J marching around the house singing to himself, proud as can be, "Locally contagious! Locally contagious!"
I'll have to remind him of this when he's a teenager, because, really, Locally Contagious would make a kick-ass band name.